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The wedding shower originated with a Dutch maiden who fell in love with an impoverished miller. Her friends showered her and her groom with so many gifts that they could forego her missing dowry.

A 19th Century reason for wearing the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand was that this finger supposedly had a vein that led directly to the heart.

Lucky is the bride who marries in old shoes.

Why something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? The old was usually a personal gift from mother to daughter, a symbolic piece of wisdom for married life. Something new symbolized the new family formed by the couple. Borrowing is especially important, since it is to come from a happily married woman, thereby lending the bride some of her own marital bliss to carry into the new union. Blue has two traditions: Pagan Roman maidens wore blue on the borders of their robes to denote love, modesty and fidelity, while Christians associate it with the purity of the Virgin Mary.

The custom of carrying the bride over the threshold stems from the same belief that aroused the idea of runway carpet and strewing the aisle with flowers and petals. It was an ancient belief that the newly married couple was very susceptible to evil spirits. By carrying the bride and supplying a protective layer between the floor and bride, she would be protected from the ground monster.

The bridal veil is descendant from two sources. A womans face that was covered by a veil meant that she was spoken for. A veil was used to disguise the bride so that she would not be recognized by the evil spirits wishing to harm the vulnerable bridal couple.

The Jewish Chuppa canopy offered a sanctuary from evil spirits.

The kiss that seals the wedding is much more than a sign of affection. It has long been a token of bondingthe exchange of spirits as each partner sends a part of the self into the new spouses soul, there to abide ever after.

An old Scottish belief for good fortune: A bride should be met at the door after the wedding ceremony by her mother, who must then break a currant bun over her daughters head.

If a cat sneezes on the day before a wedding, the bride will be lucky in her marriage.

A young bride always wore her hair long and loose as a sign of her youth and innocence.

www.wedding-traditions.net

6-9 Months

Select your best man. Decide how many ushers you need (1 for every 50 guests), and select them.

Start making out your guest list.

Arrange visit with minister to discuss ceremony.

Discuss wedding expenses with fiance and all parents.

Discuss honeymoon plans. If traveling abroad, make legal arrangements (passport, visas, inoculations, etc).

Visit wedding gift registry with fiance.

3-5 Months

Complete guest list, give it to fiance.

Consult with fiance and order wedding attire for self, for best man, ushers and fathers.

Arrange transportation (limousines, etc.) for wedding party to ceremony and reception.

Complete honeymoon plans: buy tickets.

Order wedding rings and engraving.

Arrange to pay for brides bouquet and going-away corsage; order boutonnieres for men, corsages for mothers.

See your doctor for exams, blood test.

8-10 Weeks

Plan rehearsal dinner with your parents.

Consult with fiance and arrange lodging for relatives and ushers from out of town.

Select gifts for best man and ushers, to be given at the bachelor dinner or wedding rehearsal.

Choose brides wedding present. Something personal, such as a watch or other piece of fine jewelry, is traditional.

Make sure necessary documents  legal, insurance, financial, medical, andreligious  are in order.

Give or attend bachelor party.

Pick up wedding rings, check engraving.

Help fiance with thank-you notes.

3 Weeks

Make a date with your fiance to get the marriage license.

Arrange with the best man for transportation from the reception to the airport or train.

Double check honeymoon reservations and hotel for wedding night.

2 Weeks

Explain any special seating arrangements to head usher.

Put the clergy members or judges fee in a sealed envelope and give it to the best man, to be delivered after the ceremony.

Purchase travelers checks.

Get your going-away clothes ready so you can change after the reception.

Pack for your honeymoon.

Arrange to move belongings to new home.

Remind best man and ushers of the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner details. Present gifts to attendants at rehearsal dinner.

Arrange for rental returns.

Be sure you and your bride sign the wedding certificate and see that it is safely put away before leaving on your honeymoon.

Have best man send a thank-you telegram to your brides parents the next day saying how lovely both the wedding and reception were.

 The professionals at Jans Cleaners in Clio, Michigan offer the following tips for taking care of stains and the cleaning process:

Before Your Ceremony

Consider what you wish to have happen with your gown after the wedding. Whatever your desires for the future, your investment in your gown and its professional care, cleaning and storage should be near the top of your list of things to do after the wedding.

Perhaps you wish to make it a keepsake, perhaps you hope to have your own daughter wear your gown on her wedding day, weve seen preserved gowns remade into gorgeous and cherished Christening gowns for children and grandchildren.

Ask the provider of your gown how the gown should be cleaned and if the trim should be cleaned the same way. Ask for cleaning instructions in writing if possible.

Your dress most likely will pick up invisible stains from food, beverages, make up and body oils (yours and those of all the huggers & kissers!). If these stains are not properly removed, they may become permanent.

Storing Your Gown

You can or we will remove extra padding, metal hooks and buttons which can rust and discolor over time. These notions can be stored in separate packaging along with your gown.

Protect your gown investment by storing it in acid-free paper and unbleached muslin protective wraps.

Store your gown, folded and packaged flat in a restorative quality box. This takes all the fabric stress typically caused by the dresss weight on a hanger.

Freshly cleaned and wrapped in protective covers, your gown should be stored in a safe, temperature controlled room. Under the bed in your guest room is one great place to store your cleaned and preserved gown. Extreme temperatures of attics and basements can cause great harm to your gown.

 It used to be that hiring a wedding coordinator, band, pastry chef, professional photographer or videographer, etc. was a luxury only those with a huge budget could afford. After all, Aunt Sarah has been baking cakes for family occasions for years, and your cousin has gotten pretty good with the video camera, and surely there is a friend of the family who can help coordinate the details the day of right?

Not always. We have all heard the stories of the video tape that is bouncing up and down, the missed photos, the family friend who starts drinking at the wedding reception and forgets their job.

Your wedding day is likely the most important event you will ever plan. Even if you plan events every day, this day has a great deal more emotion, meaning and tradition behind it. Why try to do it all yourself? You deserve the best, so why not assemble a great team to make your dreams come true?

Some brides and grooms have never even planned a dinner party for 12, much less a really important party for 50 or 150 or more. Your family and friends should be able to enjoy your special day with you; not as employees at the wedding or reception. Even if you plan or are involved in events on a daily basis, planning your own wedding without professionals is like a heart surgeon trying to do surgery on himself or herself.

Professionals can work with you, often saving hundreds of dollars by knowing some of the pitfalls to avoid

Professionals are experienced at handling last minute details and challenges but remember the earlier you seek some help, the better a professional is able to help you. A day of coordinator works with you well ahead of the day of your wedding. They need to know the details so they can carry out your vision and dreams for your wedding day

Professionals work together often and are part of a team. Professionals are up to date on the latest rules, regulations, laws and trends.

Recent brides will tell you they wished they had gotten more help, had gotten more photos (good ones), and had slowed down and enjoyed the day and their guests more. Do you need a professional? Probably. Do you deserve a professional? Absolutely you are worth it! Enjoy the journey to your special day.

Submitted by C. Anne Coulter

If your gown is an heirloom, allow time for cleaning and freshening, and any alterations that may need to be made.

Select a pretty handkerchief to tuck into your bouquet for sentimental moments.

Practice wearing your wedding shoes before the big day.

Pack a small emergency bag for your dressing area: iron, needle and thread, hairspray, aspirin, nail polish, safety pins, extra panty hose, etc.

Planning an outdoor wedding? Have a colorful supply of umbrellas on hand to help ward away the rain.

Remind the wedding party to gather quickly after your vows for group photographs. You’ll want to greet waiting guests as soon as possible.

Its proper to send lodging information to your out-of-town guests. Most facilities will do so for you if provided with your guest list.

Dont forget to place a pretty guest register at the reception.

Arrange for a close friend or relative to transport gifts that are delivered to the reception.

If youre planning on candles, be sure to appoint someone to light them.

Leave your honeymoon itinerary with a family member.

Ask your bridesmaids to place their bouquets around the reception area as additional decoration. They’ll be thankful not to hold them during the celebration.

Select a special gift for your parents as a gesture of thanks. Present it to them the morning of the wedding.

Send a romantic telegram to your fiance just before the ceremony.

Enjoy a light snack before leaving for the ceremony. Many brides never taste the food at their reception.

The best time to cut the cake at the reception is immediately after the main course is cleared. Eating the first piece of cake together symbolizes your first meal together. The grain its made of stands for fertility and fruitfulness. Proposing a short toast to one another reinforces the mood of the moment, making it a special one.

Be sure to get a good nights sleep before the wedding. You’ll be glad you did!

Be sure to have your gown cleaned after the festivities. Stains that may not be visible now may yellow later.

Gowns are best stored in a cool, dry place. When stored on a hanger, sew straps to the waistline to relieve pressure on the shoulders. Wrap the gown in a sheet or muslin, stuffing the sleeves and bodice with white tissue to prevent wrinkling. Take equal care with the headpiece and veil.

Chinese foods served at weddings are chosen for their phonetic plays on words. For example, the Chinese word for apple is similar to the expression go safely, Fat choy sounds like the expression be prosperous, and Liem sun denotes the hope for many sons. This particular menu consists of apples, seaweed and lotus-seed tea.

In Italy, either a roasted baby pig (porchetta) or roasted baby lamb (bacchio), depending on region, may be served, accompanied by two pasta dishes and assorted fresh fruit. As a symbol of the essence of marriage, newlyweds hand out sugared almonds representing the bitter and the sweet in life.

A Jamaican wedding feast includes curried goat, meat patties, salted codfish cakes, red snapper in Caribbean creole sauce, and a salad of avocado and/or watercress. The traditional wedding cake is a dark fruitcake laced with rum. Slices of the cake are put into boxes and mailed to all friends and relatives who are unable to attend the wedding reception.

Korean weddings serve Kuk soo (noodles), which symbolize long life. To find out if someone is married, ask Kuk soo mo-gus-soy-oh? (Have you eaten noodles yet?)

In the Jewish tradition, a wedding meal is to be prepared Kosher style, which within the laws of the Torah, means no mixing of meat and dairy.

Bermudian traditions include the bride and groom walking under a moon gate after the ceremony for good luck, and the bride and groom have separate wedding cakes. The brides wedding cake is a tiered fruitcake covered with silver leaf and has a small cedar sapling on top that is replanted after the ceremony to symbolize the growth of the couples love. Gold leaf tops the grooms cake and represents prosperity.

In Norway, Brudlaupskling, a wedding cake made of bread, dates back to the days when white flour was rare on Norwegian farms, and foods containing it were greatly admired. The bread is topped with a mixture of cheese, cream, and syrup, then folded over and cut into small squares.

Long ago in France, it was the custom for villagers to throw buns into a pile in preparation for the wedding feast. A clever baker decided to take some bun-like pastries stuffed with cream and fastened them as a pyramid, like the mound of buns, creating a tall cone of caramel-coated cream puffs called croque-en-bouche (crisp in the mouth). The cone may be topped with caged doves, which are released to symbolize the newlyweds departure from their families.

In medieval England, guests brought small cakes and piled them in the center of a table, challenging the bride and groom to kiss over them.

The grooms cake is a European tradition that is regaining popularity. Traditionally, the grooms cake is a dark, rich fruitcake, but is more modernly chocolate or spice. It is more creatively shaped than the typical tiered brides cake, often decorated to represent the grooms favorite hobby, sport or fraternity affiliation. It may be served at the rehearsal dinner or at the reception after the wedding cake has officially been cut.

In the Ukraine, couples share korovai rather than a cake. Korovai is a sacred wedding bread decorated with symbolic motifs that represent eternity and the joining together of two families.

A bridal shower is a party to outfit the engaged couples new home, and gives friends and family a chance to spend time with the bride before she starts her married life. Here are the who, whats, and whens . . .

WHO HOSTS? Friends of the bride who are in the wedding party, another couple, or even a male friend. The brides mother, sisters, or close relatives of the grooms usually dont do the hosting, to avoid the appearance of asking for gifts. They may help finance, or help organize however.

WHOS INVITED? Usually, only those who will be invited to the wedding, with the exception of office or club showers. Traditional all-women showers include guests from the brides and grooms families, but coed showers are becoming more popular as well.

WHEN IS IT HELD? At least two weeks before the wedding. Mail invitations or call guests at least two weeks in advance of the shower date. A post-wedding shower may even be more convenient for some, and is also acceptable.

WHAT HAPPENS? Gifts are the primary focus. Be sure to have someone on hand to help record gifts (for thank you notes). Ribbons and bows may be collected for practice bouquets for the rehearsal ceremony. Themes make the party special, and can vary from a honeymoon theme, to gardening, cooking, movies, patio party, picnic, or hobby themes.

Whats New, Whats Fun!

Co-ed showers are growing in popularity, and can ease the tension as the bridal party not only carries out their duties as attendants, but also has to get to know the people they are spending the day with. Break the ice early with a picnic, barbecue, ski weekend, beach party, or even a scavenger hunt. The better your bridal party knows each other, the more fun theyll have on your wedding day.

Whether co-ed or traditional women only, the bridal shower can be more fun with a theme. Make it a casino night, a pool party, or a beauty make-over. Gift themes are also fun and can be personalized for the bride. Have a Gardening Party for the bride with a green thumb, or a Library Luau for the bookworm.

Often the shower is a time when friends from all stages of the brides life meet for the first time. Make it a sharing time when each of her friends can share their fondest memories of the friendship theyve shared. Have each shower guest bring a favorite photo of a time or event they shared with the bride, and compile them in a special scrapbook as a heartfelt gift for her.

Questions to Ask When Visiting a Potential Reception Site

_____ What is the rental fee? What exactly does it include?

_____ What is the maximum attendance the room or area can handle  for a seated dinner, buffet, or hors doeuvre reception?

_____ Is the reception site to be shared with another wedding group? How are the facilities divided? How is privacy ensured?

_____ For how many hours does the rental fee reserve the space? Are there charges for overtime? When do they begin?

_____ Are there any restrictions on when the site is available? Any price discounts for certain time periods, days of the week?

_____ Do you have a piano, other musical instruments on the premises? Is there any charge for use?

_____ Are there any regulations concerning the type of music; number of musicians; duration of the music?

_____ Are there regulations on decorations, flowers, photography?

_____ Do you have air-conditioning (for warm weather weddings)? Adequate heating (for winter and early spring nuptials)?

_____ Do you have an in-house caterer or preferred list of caterers? Can I bring in the caterer of my choice? What are your liquor requirements?

_____ Do you have any liability insurance in the event a guest is injured?

_____ Do you have enclosed, adequate kitchen facilities? (Caterers may add surcharges for appliances  a stove, refrigerator.)

_____ Can the site be used for the ceremony?

_____ Is there a dance floor? Is dancing allowed? Where?

_____ Are there any additional charges for required services (i.e. security guards, parking attendants, doormen, lawn workers, etc.)?

_____ Can you confirm the reservation in a letter that will outline all the details, including the room assignment?

_____ What are the deposit and refund requirements?

_____ Is there adequate parking for my guests? Will they be charged? Can these charges be waived?

_____ Are there rooms available where we can change into wedding attire, going-away clothes?

_____ Do you have a microphone?

_____ Can we review staging, lighting, audio and video needs?

_____ Is there a comfortable area for guests to await our arrival from the ceremony site? Will hors doeuvres, drinks be served?

_____ Where is the best place to set up the receiving line?

_____ What is the name of the banquet manager? Will he or she be on hand that day? If not, who will be in charge?

_____ Is a security deposit required? How much is it? When can I expect a refund?

_____ Do you provide tables? Chairs? What kind  round, oblong, how many to a table?

_____ Do you have a floor plan available for sketching the reception layout? Where will the cake table, gift table, brides table be located?

_____ Are table covers/skirts available? Colors available?

_____ What are the colors of the facility?

At this point, it must be assumed that you have been able to choose a wedding day that is convenient for the church/synagogue of your choice and for the reception facilities that you prefer.

Check on the following:

1. Does the church/synagogue have any special rules or traditions that you should know about? Can you write your vows, personalize your ceremony? What are the parameters?
2. What will be the time limitations on your wedding day? Is there a ceremony preceding or following yours? This should be checked again, two weeks prior to your wedding date.
3. Is there a lounge or other setting suitable for photographs? Is there a rest area where other members of your party can relax, should there be some unforeseen delay?
4. Who will be your musician? Are you allowed to provide your own musician? Soloist? Music selections?
5. What kind of monetary obligations are there? Are you expected to pay for wedding ceremony services, or is a donation more traditional?
6. If your ceremony is to be held somewhere other than a church/synagogue (a hotel for instance), what are your obligations to the officiant?
7. Is it acceptable to tape record, video or to take flash pictures of the ceremony? Are there facilities for this?
8. Aisle runners and length of aisle what is available and do you wish to use them?
9. Where are the flowers to be positioned? What is the best time for them to be delivered? Are there candelabras, candles, unity stand available?
10. Are there to be any special seating arrangements for close family members and friends? How is this to be handled?

Once you have the answers to these questions, make a note of them. WRITE THEM DOWN. They will be used and discussed later with your ceremony co-ordinator.